with my first court date growing nearer i keep getting on edge, i keep wondering if there's anything else i can do to be more prepared, be a better father. Am i not working enough working to much am i going to school to much or not enough.
i had to take my don't o the Doctor yesterday and of course his mother didn't give me his medical insurance information, so i paid the 90 out of pocket. then his mother got mad at me for not taking him back to her and letting her take him to the doctor. I'm like no i have a right to be informed and make decisions in y sons health. he needs tubes in his ears, but getting her to listen is like getting my dog to write my blogs. shes absurd then she called the social worker who handles the exchanges and made him call me at 7pm to get all the information of where i took him what they said etc. which i had already told her over the phone but i refused to argue with her.
back tracking a little, i didn't get x-mass but i did get new years plus ten days, so in the long run i won. I'm going to make sure he is healthy by the time he goes back (Gatorade is good for kids if their sick, bad for them if their healthy: this was new to me) then i can show every one that he is not just a kid who get sick, but a kid who doesn't get the care he needs, maybe then i can make the point that i am the better parent.
my first court date is the 11th and it is to decide weather my son will move 5 hours away or not. i don't think she will be able to move with him, but there is a chance, ill keep you all posted, and ill try to blog more
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
working through it
Well I have court on Tuesday to see about custody, I have a strong case...and worse case I get more visitations. Therefore I can be a more informed, better father.
I got a few e-mails about people wanting to help, and just so that I can give something easy for every one to do, easiest thing would be to write your congressmen, governor, president any one in any kind of power. I think if we keep pointing out the mistreatment and uneven playing field men have to stand on I think we will get somewhere. I live in Illinois, and have written my congressmen, Governor, and dropped a letter off at Hilary and Obamahs offices. I think people are mainly unaware that fathers struggle so much, the ones who struggle, struggle alone. They don’t seek help like women do, its not socially acceptable for a man to say I cant make it, where as a woman is expected to get help, from daddy or the government.
I did a project in school and part of it was I simply listed all the programs that are available to single mothers, then I did it for teenage single mothers. That list was several pages long, and then I listed the programs for fathers.... I came up with one in California, for fathers fighting for custody of their kids...nothing else...just one program.
I think once we show people the problem, good people will want to help. The government will be required to help, the law is outdated the law is wrong, the mother is no longer the "best choice" all the time, and the father cant make it on his own when every one else is getting help. It’s like the quarterback taking on the football team, yeah he’s the most important player, but he’s worthless against so many challenges.
I'm not saying all fathers need help, I know there are some bad ones, but lately you hear more about bad mothers then bad fathers. Like I said I’m working on a plan to start the program, but its just plan (if you would like to be involved in that just leave ideas or sections to help out but keep in mind it must be national, I’m not trying to change one state, for all of them are equally lacking)
Once I start getting the program laid out ill start a section for it, or a web link to its page. I have a break form school now so I plan on devoting some
I got a few e-mails about people wanting to help, and just so that I can give something easy for every one to do, easiest thing would be to write your congressmen, governor, president any one in any kind of power. I think if we keep pointing out the mistreatment and uneven playing field men have to stand on I think we will get somewhere. I live in Illinois, and have written my congressmen, Governor, and dropped a letter off at Hilary and Obamahs offices. I think people are mainly unaware that fathers struggle so much, the ones who struggle, struggle alone. They don’t seek help like women do, its not socially acceptable for a man to say I cant make it, where as a woman is expected to get help, from daddy or the government.
I did a project in school and part of it was I simply listed all the programs that are available to single mothers, then I did it for teenage single mothers. That list was several pages long, and then I listed the programs for fathers.... I came up with one in California, for fathers fighting for custody of their kids...nothing else...just one program.
I think once we show people the problem, good people will want to help. The government will be required to help, the law is outdated the law is wrong, the mother is no longer the "best choice" all the time, and the father cant make it on his own when every one else is getting help. It’s like the quarterback taking on the football team, yeah he’s the most important player, but he’s worthless against so many challenges.
I'm not saying all fathers need help, I know there are some bad ones, but lately you hear more about bad mothers then bad fathers. Like I said I’m working on a plan to start the program, but its just plan (if you would like to be involved in that just leave ideas or sections to help out but keep in mind it must be national, I’m not trying to change one state, for all of them are equally lacking)
Once I start getting the program laid out ill start a section for it, or a web link to its page. I have a break form school now so I plan on devoting some
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The Idea
Here's my idea start a group that's there to advocate single fathers, help them out.
lawyer fees are almost out of reach for most single fathers, especially young ones the laws are set up for men, who have full time jobs and are done with school and book expenses.
i think allot of these laws need revised furthermore allot of people see the disadvantages of not having a male role model but rarely are fathers counseled on how to be one, i know cause ever one, and i mean everyone told me to run, join the army and get out of town...and i didn't i stayed and i have been battling it out one swing at a time. she gets More help them me, it just makes me more driven, but i know a lot of men who would run and have ran. can you blame them? after paying your child support i have 50% of my paycheck gone that means i get paid once a month then i have to live on that...that means gas food insurance( me and my son) and a lawyer. if you have ever paid for a lawyer you know that's not possible,but i want to get a group of lawyers together that will do the custody battles for a pay over time, or at least make a list of good lawyers(it took me 4 lawyers before i could get one to do something reasonable) this will all take a lot of time but with most programs worth having, they have to start somewhere with someone. I'm laying the ground work please feel free to suggest what i should do to make it better, i need all the help i can get.
lawyer fees are almost out of reach for most single fathers, especially young ones the laws are set up for men, who have full time jobs and are done with school and book expenses.
i think allot of these laws need revised furthermore allot of people see the disadvantages of not having a male role model but rarely are fathers counseled on how to be one, i know cause ever one, and i mean everyone told me to run, join the army and get out of town...and i didn't i stayed and i have been battling it out one swing at a time. she gets More help them me, it just makes me more driven, but i know a lot of men who would run and have ran. can you blame them? after paying your child support i have 50% of my paycheck gone that means i get paid once a month then i have to live on that...that means gas food insurance( me and my son) and a lawyer. if you have ever paid for a lawyer you know that's not possible,but i want to get a group of lawyers together that will do the custody battles for a pay over time, or at least make a list of good lawyers(it took me 4 lawyers before i could get one to do something reasonable) this will all take a lot of time but with most programs worth having, they have to start somewhere with someone. I'm laying the ground work please feel free to suggest what i should do to make it better, i need all the help i can get.
Up Hill Battle
So as a single Teenage father i realised that there are no programs (in my area) to help me. The girl who lied to me, and is now the mother of my child on the other hand gets free college, $400 child support, promise jobs ($800 weather she works or not) plus 40hrs of daycare, on top of all that a house and free food. So what dose she do with all of this? she buys movies sits at home and lets day care take care of my son while she sits at home watching movies.....now me being a hard working class guy i have 3 jobs in the summer and 2 in the winter, plus school. and because i made so much the first year of my sons life, i now have to work all those jobs and fork over 50% of my paycheck during the winter (3rd job was taken so i could pay off dept in summer and try to save up for a lawyer) i guess I'm ranting but i need to get it out I'm so sick of this push for single mothers and a blatant disregard for the fathers, were not all dead beats! 97% of fathers pay their child support, the remaining 3% is all you ever hear about. You never get the story of a 19 year old kid trying to save up for a lawyer go to school and keep a GPA high enough to stay in college, all the while getting screwed constantly by his baby's mom. you never see that she has money and a father who gives her anything she wants anyway, and really doesn't need to be on welfare. you don't see the 20 year old kid who has no dad, is helping to support his mom , and other brothers (one who's going to school to be a doctor and cant work and study and he goes to school year round the other is skit so frantic+bipolar) its so frustrating.
i wouldn't be this bad off but my mother took 2 years off of work to take care of my grandfather who came down with cancer, and I'm not mad at her at all. he was a good man and he deserved to be taken care of in his final hours...his last words to me were "I'm proud of you, you take care of this family....your the only one strong enough" that's a fairly long post to start off with but id like some feed back to see what other people think..I'm going to school to be a psychologist and my goal is to eventually start a organization that helps single fathers, to actually get custody rights, to counsel them that they can stay around and they do make a difference.
i wouldn't be this bad off but my mother took 2 years off of work to take care of my grandfather who came down with cancer, and I'm not mad at her at all. he was a good man and he deserved to be taken care of in his final hours...his last words to me were "I'm proud of you, you take care of this family....your the only one strong enough" that's a fairly long post to start off with but id like some feed back to see what other people think..I'm going to school to be a psychologist and my goal is to eventually start a organization that helps single fathers, to actually get custody rights, to counsel them that they can stay around and they do make a difference.
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